I Actually Miss Jake Everett

Dan McHugh

 

Undergraduate/Criminal Justice

 

No dearest Flip Side reader. You haven’t misread the title of my article. I didn’t think it was possible myself until recently. My last article was geared towards denouncing Jake Everett’s take on comedy; however, Evan Gillick’s recent thoughts have swayed me. The great thing about Jake Everett was that he didn’t discriminate in his attacks. He verbally abused everyone and everything under the sun, but Evan Gillick seems to have a one-track mind. If I’m not mistaken, pretty much everything I have read by Mr. Gillick has been about the evils of religion, Christianity in particular. I’m not going to discuss the content of these articles. I think Mr. Saffert has already done a good job at critiquing them. I am writing this to attempt to reveal Evan’s writing for what is: a cheap imitation.

One clear difference is shown in how Jake and Evan respond to criticism. Jake didn’t let the responses bog him down. If a response came in regards to his bashing starving children in Africa article, he would respond by sticking to his guns and writing further heinous AIDS jokes, while defending his view. This year’s Flip Side trolling seems much less articulate.

Daniel Saffert: “You suck Evan. You’re giving atheists a bad name by being an idiot.”

Evan Gillick: “Nuh uh, YOU suck, and I’m going to make sure everyone reading this knows that I’m serious by using CAPITAL LETTERS!”

I think I can speak for the Flip Side community when I say that we thoroughly understand your views on religion at this point. If you’re attempting to shock and offend (which is the only goal I can ascertain from your articles), I expect that you won’t have much luck. After Jake Everett, do you really think a few anti-Christian articles will disturb us? The man wrote about rape, world hunger, disease, implied sex with starving children in Africa, and yes religion. Not to mention he was the single cause for the infamous Flip Side boycott of last year. Your articles have already been written sir, and you are clearly inferior. No matter how much you want these views of yours to be new and shocking, all I have to say is “meh.” Also I am not a fan of your poetry. That is all.

Attached is a short letter to Jake wherever he may be.

Dear Jake,

I wish you could see what’s become of the Flip Side. For starters there’s this douche named Evan Gillick who wishes he was you. He’s mostly just been spamming mundane anti-religious articles. Michael Seaholm is still around writing awesome articles, but this Evan kid has an article, a poem, and two responses in every issue. He’s taking over the Flip Side. Bottom line Jake, we want you back. I know EC wasn’t great to you. Sorry about those protests, glares, death threats and that visit from the police regarding your article, but if you can find it in your heart to remove this irritation from the Flip Side using your military superpowers, I would be forever grateful.

Sincerely,

Dan McHugh



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