Interview With A Blugold

Jon Radcliffe: Chip, I call you Chip, I assume?

Chip: No problem, my name is Chip E. Wa, but you can call me Chip.

JR: So, the burning question that seems to come to mind is why now? I mean this university has gone without a mascot for
quite some time? What makes now different than before?

Chip: First, I was formed out of the brilliance of the Sun and the purity of the Chippewa River. More specifically, 90 years ago there was an unusual solar explosion that launched a molecular “Sun Stone” at planet Earth. It was so hot when it  landed in the Chippewa River that it fused the dirt into stone, creating Putnam Rock. So this Sun Stone was actually my egg and got swept away by the Chippewa River, through the St. Croix, down the Mississippi and out the Gulf of Mexico. It’s  been at sea traveling the planet for over 90 years and that is why we haven’t had a mascot. Just now I am finding my way home. I must explain one of my mythological powers. I can cast an image of myself, which is what you are seeing now, both spatially and temporally. Essentially I can place myself in the past or the future at any place, but only within a certain  distance from my egg’s current location. So I am assuming that next fall I will actually be at Eau Claire.

JR: Oh, so this is just to prepare the university for when you actually come next fall? Chip: Yes, but more important is this
energy, this buzz, that I get from the people here. They have been saying that they want school spirit. So now I am being
summoned like the Candyman. You know you have to say his name two times and he is summoned.
[Actually, three times - Ed.]

JR: But you are a good version?

Chip: But a great version! Like a positive affluent creature. Not one who is going to tear you up. So, I have been summoned
here because the people here on campus are getting very antsy because they don’t have enough. They want leadership and something to identify with. I mean Blugold for the past ninety years has been meaningless so it’s not surprising that people are antsy. So that is why I am here.

JR: So what do you think of this University community so far?

Chip: I think they are great. They are great people, just warm and friendly, but I see them as somewhat empty. Just like empty shells walking around. The do their routine, you know, enjoy themselves on a Friday afternoon, but really they are looking for meaning, a specific purpose to being here, so I hope that I can fill that for them. I want them to all believe that we are Blugold and are in this together. They are warm and friendly people, but I wish they would reach out more. I see so much potential. I see these people selling out at an early age, you know, drinking and getting depressed. They do things they don’t want to do and have much faith in. I don’t think you can force a person to change, but I believe you can change yourself and lead by example. What I really want is to stick out. I want to help create an atmosphere where acting out is
acting in. Where people make decisions, not to conform, but because they feel it is the right thing to do. I don’t see people thinking for themselves, and only doing things in the safe and secure way. I want to encourage people to find the courage in themselves to do something they feel powerful about. That is what a Blugold can do.

JR: Ok. Well it seems you have made an impact already with the high-five Mondays. You change it up every so often with this other student on campus, I believe his name is Casey yes?

Chip: Yes, it’s Casey

JR: So first question is how do you like your current occupation, this free high-five gig?

Chip: It is going fantastic, but any business that is handing out free stuff would be doing fantastic. This is really me trying to
get my name out there, you know, a little free advertising for old Chip, and maybe I could be hired later on as an authorized
mascot. This is just warming people up and I am enjoying it, and would love to keep doing it, but if I am not authorized soon I may have to leave because, you know, a guy has got to eat. I am sure there is a market out there for Blugold mascots, so I might check out Stout and La Crosse and see if they need some help. And this guy Casey, he is the copy cat artist.

JR: Actually that was my next question. How is your occupational relationship with this Casey fellow?

Chip: Well, give him and inch and he will take a freaking mile. We agree I need some time off, and he is a helpful guy that  wants to be there. So he was just supposed to stand there on Monday mornings once in a while, but let’s just say it has gone to his head. Casey, just stay at the bottom of the hill, but no, he has to go running around the entire campus. He is really stealing the spotlight. I am sure he makes people laugh, but back off buddy, ok?

JR: I am sure it makes getting employment a bit more difficult, without that name recognition.

Chip: Maybe I need a trademark or something, but actually it has created my biggest pet peeve. People somehow got the
idea that I am Casey in a costume. So they are always walking by and calling me Casey. Hi Casey! Great costume! That really gets me going and it kind of hurts. I really wish people would just call.

JR: How do students react when they first meet you?

Chip: You know, I see Casey walking around with this high-five board and everyone loves it. I think they connect because he is a human being, while I am a Blugold. I really feel invisible at times. He walks around as a center of gravity because he is a person doing something outlandish, but when a Blugold does something outlandish I really think it is the best way to disappear. You may think digging a twelve foot hole in the ground and burying yourself would be the best way, but no. Try
walking around as a Blugold for a day and people will just shun you, keep their eyes to the ground. But I really think that they are just nervous. The high-five board helps out to break the ice. The students, I have found, have a difficult time  picking up on this. It really is momentum. It starts with an eerie smile, then the high-five, and by now I put my hand up and people understand it’s the high-five. It is also nice that people don’t stop and ask me what I am anymore. You know, I am not a pumpkin and I am not an asparagus. I will give you two more guesses. Seriously, when people ask me who I am I don’t really get it.

JR: You are definitely blue and gold.

Chip: Yeah, but the students have had a hard time picking up on it. Most of the rest of the people absolutely love it. They admire my beauty. Some do think that Casey made this costume or something, but this is my body, so they are just admiring my sheer splendor. I don’t mean to be boastful, but when you are trying to get hired you have to be honest. Oh and children love me.

[Random Student walks by]: Hey you make my Mondays by the way!

Chip: Great! What’s your name, and where are you from?

Student: Danny, from Horan, but I spend most of my time in Governors.

Chip: Is it because there are girls in Governors? By the way, high-five!

JR: Very popular I see. So has there been any animosity, or is there just general acceptance?

Chip: Well, like I said children love me.  They make me feel like I have a future in this community. As far as the animosity
goes, not really too much. They just sort of ignore me. I am not sure if that is animosity. I don’t try and solicit myself in desperation. I just want people to accept me. So they had this chancellor’s round table where they discussed a mascot. So I went just to be cordial and see what the input was, but they didn’t go for it so much. They are stuck on this idea of a Blugold spirit as the mascot, but then I don’t know why it’s not the Eau Claire spirits. For identity, you know, but I feel it is a copout to make something that has no being. I mean we are the hydrogen gas guys. We are empty space. You can’t see us. It is hard to rally around and identify with something you can’t see. They also thought it should be a menagerie of different objects; an elephant one year and a stick the next. I think they were just saying this cause I was there. All that I want is for them to show me something better and I will leave. The administration seems to be having a hard time understanding that only they have faith in the Blugold spirit. The students see it as a joke. I mean there is a Facebook group called “What the  hell is a Blugold?” with nearly 2000 members. In the past people have tried the traditional route to get a mascot but that never worked so for my job campaign I want to make it grass roots and organize people. Serve their needs and you will be rewarded, and it’s working miraculously.

JR: So you said something about the administration not accepting you.

Chip: Yes, they invite everyone to this roundtable and when someone proposes an idea they don’t take action. The people in the positions love it, but their positions make them timid. I think they feel that if they are told we need a mascot in a couple months we can get to work on it, but right now I can’t do much about it cause me hands are tied. The faculty and staff love
it though.

JR: Do you have any short term goals?

Chip: I have been working on this puzzle that is all blue that I can’t figure out; just kidding. Getting my own university email so I can officially contact people and I could create my own Facebook profile. These would make me feel like I am being accepted.

JR: Last question, what if your favorite curse word?

Chip: Well I don’t have a favorite curse work but I do have a least favorite one. This is the most abominable word in the
English language. It starts with c and end with nt. It is derogatory and limits people. People really don’t think when they say it, but it is truly disgusting. C-a-n-t, I will say it once, can’t. Who says that word!?! You haven’t tried so give it a chance before you write it off.