Josh Thomas' Top Tips for Freshmen (And Seniors)

Joshua Thomas
Undergraduate/Broadfield Social Studies

Hello Flip Side readers, old and new. Those of you who have been reading this publication for some time are aware of my good friend Michael Glenn Seaholm and his so called "funny stories." Well he's gone forever and his humorous observations with him, but all that means is I, Josh Thomas, the tall kid with the afro, will be your new entertainer. What I thought I'd do was I'd write my first article full of helpful information about taking advantage of the college experience. This is a field I have much experience in and whether you're brand new or have been attending for some time, I guarantee you'll find this to be worthy reading material. These are Josh Thomas' Top Tips for Freshmen (And Seniors):

Tip #1 If you eat at the cafeteria too often it will become one of the many disappointments you'll experience on our beautiful campus. Allow me to elaborate; the cafeteria is probably about as good as it gets in terms of university cafeterias but you need to tread carefully. The burgers, fries, pizza, and ice cream are always available but rarely in your health's best interests and the entrees tend to suffer from any number of the following symptoms: too dry, too watery, sat out too long, too bland, they ran out of the good stuff, and my personal favorite, "that's not what that's supposed to taste like." Most of you have a certain number of declining dollars, use these at the market places or even better, the Green Bean located on the bottom of Davies past the Cabin. I recommend the organic chocolate and the fresh fruit!

Tip #2 If you're drinking every weekend you're not "having the time of your life," you're simply experiencing what is commonly referred to as alcoholism. Freshmen, if you wanna drink, go for it because you're gonna do it anyway and it's fun, but it's only one of many fun things you can do while you're here. If all your friends want to do is drink, then they're not very interesting people and you can do leagues better. Seniors, you turned twenty-one last year so it's time to look into other hobbies. The world is big and full of all kinds of things to be interested in besides watching sports, going to bars, and playing cowadooty. Some of my interests are reading golden age science fiction and trying to beat old NES games. Both have been very rewarding and neither has made anyone less interested in me.

Tip #3 If you're hanging out with the same types of people you hung out with in high school then you're missing out on a large part of the hidden social curriculum and your education will become significantly diminished. Part of college is meeting new people and expanding your boundaries. If you're only meeting the same kinds of people you've known your whole life you're not going to be able to expand those boundaries and you will suffer for it. Freshmen, keep your dorm doors open and don't be afraid to try things you've never done before. Seniors, I hope you don't have this problem but if you do, I hope you get on it. It's seriously not too late.

Tip #4 If you're studying as much as they say you should be, you're missing out on another important part of your education. I never learned so much about history as I did when I just began to read outside of the assigned textbooks. Grades are important, but so are many other things that you need to care about even if nobody else does. Those tiny little letters are not going to jump off the page and make sure you live a happy life. This is the only time you'll ever experience living in such a large community of students. College isn't a full time job, it's a fun experience occasionally broken by stupid homework. Freshmen, don't take things too seriously, you really ought to be able to enjoy yourselves here. Seniors, if you're really miserable then there is a problem that if you don't solve will affect you for the rest of your life.

Tip #5 If you're not experimenting with something, then experiment. I'm not saying do drugs (though I'm not going to stop you, either), I'm simply saying that you've probably been living your life the same way you always have and now you have an opportunity to mix that life up and experience all kinds of new things that will shape and mold you before you have a wife and children and an occupation that will make it much harder to do. It won't instantly transform you into a good person but it certainly won't hurt you (unless you decided to do some hard core drugs, but that's your choice and your consequences).

Those five tips are what I think most of you will be able to take something important from. All I want is for people to be less miserable and to be able to achieve that with their own merit, without needing to rely on others. Perfection is not a prerequisite for happiness. Success should be defined by the person experiencing it. You might not agree with everything I say, but I'm just some guy with an afro who is also very tall, so try not to take it too personally. If you want to wave at me that would also be cool.